Real Estate Humor

 

Real Estate can be a stressful topic.  I like a little levity in my life to help balance things out.  Come here when you need a chuckle!  I will update often!

 

Links to the Right are NOT humor!

 

 

 

 

 

The recession has hit everybody really hard… Parents in Boca Raton fired their nannies and learned their children’s names.

 

 

   You think your house is upside down?

 

 

The recession has hit everybody really hard…  CEO’s are now playing miniature golf.

 

 

 

 

 

Happy President's Day from someone who has to go to work!

 

 

 

 

The recession has hit everybody really hard…  My neighbour got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.

 

 

 

 

 

A Happy Home is a place where each spouse entertains the possibility that the other may be right though neither believes it.

 

 

 

 

Did you hear about Robin Hood's house? It has a little John.

 

 

 

 

Trivia: The floors of buildings are called stories because early European builders used to paint picture stories on the sides of their houses. Each floor had a different story.

 

 

 

 

 

A typical home has a TV set that is adjusted better than the kids.

 

 

  What you get when the agent lists "rooftop pool."

 

 

Homesickness What you feel every month when the mortgage is due.

 

 

 

 

 

The dream of the older generation was to pay off a mortgage. The dream of today's young families is to get one.

 

 

 

 

 

Realtor sign--We have "lots" to be thankful for.

 

 

 

 

 

House problem: The oven is self-cleaning, but the kids aren't.

 

 

 

 

 

I listed a maintenance free house. In the last 25 years there hasn't been any maintenance.

 

 

 

 

There is no longer a need for the neutron bomb. We already have something that destroys people and leaves buildings intact. It's called a mortgage.

 

 

 

 

Housebroke--What you are after buying a house.

 

 

 

A man's home is his castle. That's how it seems when he pays taxes on it.

 

 

 

 

An investor bought a two story house. One story before, and another after.!

 

 

 

 

 

A client told me that he has a temporary mortgage. What did he mean temporary?  Until they foreclose.

 

 

 

 

 

 A lot of homes have been spoiled by inferior desecrators.--Frank Lloyd Wright


 

 

 

A couple decided to try first to sell their home themselves. They placed ads in the local papers, spray painted a “For Sale” message on a sign board and posted it outside.

When the husband came home that evening, he told her, laughing, that her sign was the most truthful one he had ever seen. Confused, she rushed outside to take a look. In her haste she had printed – “For Sale by Ower.”

 

 

 

 

 

Houses today don't have enough closet space. Sure they do. They're just called guest bedrooms.

 

 

 

 

 A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of.

 

 

 

 

 

Q: What is the difference in a terrorist and a loan underwriter?
A: You can negotiate with the terrorist.

 

 

 

 

 

Older homes in Delray Beach don't have enough closet space. Sure they do. They're just called guest bedrooms.


 

 

 

Some new vocabulary:
Homallucination: the ability to convince oneself that while the price of everyone else's home will fall, your neighborhood is clearly different.
Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with!
Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when the come at your rapidly.
Cashtration: The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time!

 

 

 


If you want to know exactly where the property line is, just watch the neighbor cut the grass.

 

 

 

 

WHEN we put our house up for sale, I stressed emphatically that my sons make their beds each morning. I left for work before they left for school, and I wanted to be sure that the house looked presentable when the agent showed it to prospective buyers. I was surprised and impressed that my 15-year-old son's bed was made perfectly each day. One night when I went into his room, I discovered his secret he was fast asleep on the floor in his sleeping bag.

 

 

 

 

If you owe the bank $100, that's your problem. If you owe the bank $100 million, that's the bank's problem.

 

 

 

 

 

Realtor to new buyer: "First you folks tell me what you can afford, then we'll have a good laugh and go on from there."

 

 

 

Use this QR code to get the MLS search application on your phone!

 

Enter code: 13328

 

 

 

 

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